Swat that Fly

You're probably wondering what the heck this means, but I have to tell you up front that it has become my LIFE MANTRA! Yes, I really did just put that in caps, because it is seriously what keeps me going right now: Swat that Fly!

Let me give you some back story, here.

I am married to my incredible and wonderful husband of almost five years. I am a mom to a beautiful baby boy, Lincoln, who turns one this month! I am a daughter, sister, friend and neighbor, but I am also a business woman. In the business that I am in, there are so many ways to compare yourself! The comparison trap is so real, and as I think about it, there are reasons that we compare ourselves on a DAILY basis no matter if you are a business woman or not, but in this particular case, my reasoning for the comparison was mostly about my business.

I felt like I wasn't living up to expectations and that there was so much weight on my shoulders that I needed to provide for my family and be a good leader in the business, but I was playing the "what if," game and comparing myself to other women I look up to who are successful in the business.

I ended up talking to a dear friend of mine, who didn't have to take time out of her day to talk to me, but she did! She said that comparison is a pride issue. Comparing does not do anything good for us, because it just keeps us thinking about all of the bad things we THINK about ourselves and we could be doing something SO much better! We could be thinking about others and what they need rather than wallowing in self pity.

I was a little in shock at first. Me? Nicole? I have a pride issue? But......

I guess I had never thought about it like that. If I am continually thinking about myself and only myself, and feeling bad for myself, then I am not doing ANYONE any good. Especially because now I am not only thinking about myself more, but I am putting my faults and frustrations before I think about others and their needs.

This hit me! I needed some time to think about it.

A few days later, I had the chance to talk to another woman in my life who I look up to and respect and who is a friend that I will cherish forever! I talked this out with her. I told her that I had never thought of myself as being "prideful," or that the problem was ME and the thoughts that I was having were tearing down not only me, but that they could be tearing down others too. The thoughts of comparison had no purpose in keeping my head above water and I wasn't helping others by comparing.

Then this friend said something that I will never forget! She told me that what she does when she has ANY negative thought come into her head, is she physically takes her hand, swipes it out in front of her face, and tells herself, "That thought doesn't serve me."

WOW!!! What power! Can you just take a minute and think about that, because that is a serious gem of a phrase! "That thought doesn't serve me," and then PHYSICALLY push it away, because it doesn't need to be there.

Ummmm YES!

So, then I was telling some of my friends that I work with about this concept of pushing those thoughts from your head and how when I do it, I now say, "That thought doesn't serve me. Now, let's go serve someone else." Because there really is no purpose in life unless we are here to lift each other up and be a help to each other. A good friend of mine always says, "A rising tide lifts all ships." If we are willing to buoy each other up instead of compare ourselves to each other, and we are willing to serve and love the people around us, it only lifts and strengthens ALL of us! Take that hand out in front of your face and push those negative thoughts away.

You are now probably thinking, "Um, Nicole? What does this have to do with flies?" As I was teaching my new favorite mantra, one of my friends said, "It kinda looks like you are swatting a fly when you do that." And thus the mantra began!

Swat that Fly.

This has become such a powerful thing for me and others that I have come in contact with as we push those bad feelings away. They are as pesky as flies and they can be just as annoying. My husband even said, "Sometimes you have to swat your flies more than once, because they come back and you didn't get it gone."

Each bad thought you have about yourself, about a family or friend, or that puts you in a position where you are being prideful without realizing it. I urge you to swat your flies and to not let them be the reason for distress or heart ache. Then get up and go serve someone else.